I have to go back to a column Anna Quindlan wrote some years ago regarding
"Take our Daughter's to Work Day". The program was in it's infancy and
there was a lot of talk about it being unfair to boys. The thinking was
that girls were getting something extra, something boys should have access
to as well.
Ms. Quindlan rightfully asserted that yes, boys have problems to in a
sexist
society. However, those problems are not the same a girls' problems and
they cannot be solved in the same way.
I agree that boys often feel they cannot major in English because it's a
'girls' subject. But they are not shut out of it in the same way that
girls
are shut out of Math, Science & Technology. Their lack of participation
does
not carry the same price in terms of careers and does not have the same
impact on their livelihood.
Careers that rely on Math, Science and/& Technology are highly valued,
highly paid and overwhelmingly male. Careers that are traditionally female
are underpaid and undervalued. When you do the math, you cannot help but
conclude that girls lose out when it comes to money.
Boys lose out in school also. When it comes to relationships, the culture
of the school puts them at a disadvantage. Recently, there was a high
profile event in the high school in which I work. Our girls' basketball
team won the NYS Federation Championship. This is a very big deal. It
means
this team from an public school in upstate New York, beat the team from a
private school in New York City. No other team in their division, male or
female has ever accomplished this feat.
If the boys' team had won, there would have been dancing in the streets.
Instead, we had a wonderful evening of proclamations and accolades in a
gym
that was less than half filled.
I don't think the girls noticed or cared much that the place wasn't filled.
But they must have noticed that the boy's basketball team did not show up
at
their celebration, neither did the coaches.
My point here is these males passed on the opportunity to be genuinely
happy for someone else. They missed a chance to put someone else first and
themselves second. They missed a chance for fun and camaraderie.
It's a problem, a problem that will have a lasting impact on their lives
but
it is not the same problem as the girls.
Terry MMcGroggan
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