John,
You are talking discrimination. While it is your right to associate with
whom you choose it is not your right to ask that institutions set this up
for you. Particularly not public spaces in our democratic societies. There
is already enough entrenched systemic discrimination that needs to be
address and changed.
If you read your comments (below) again and replace the gender
differentiation with racial groups (sexual tensions to racial tensions,
etc.) it may become clearer to you. Or you could try religious
designations and see some of what the people in Northern Ireland
(Catholic/Protestant) are trying to change. Then try gay/straight men
as a focus. There are many other ways to frame this and it can be a
creative and insightful exercise.
I think that Bob's posting is a very important one to reread and understand.
I hope that you sort this out in a positive way, as clearly as possible.
alice
alicemac@Kwantlen.BC.CA
On Fri, 22 May 1998, John Meyer wrote:
> Primary focus, not necesssarily the complete focus. Just put it this way;
> when I am around a woman, there is always that slight sexual tension there.
> That "sexual tension" can raise to higher levels when in the right
> atmosphere, and it can be nonexistant, but the idea is that men are
> expected to speak out first, to try and preen in front of the woman. This
> discounts homosexuals, but let's try to conquer 90% of the male population
> before we move on to the other 10%.
> Guys who have "guys nights out" don't have to worry about that. No sexual
> preening, no nothing. A football game, a baseball game, are all places
> where guys can go and get out of the long, disapproving stare of women.
> Whether a frat house or a pick-up game, these places are wonderfully free
> of the sex games that we all play on a cosntant basis. These are not
> places where guys plot as to how they can brutalize women, or force their
> sexualitty on women; they act almost as a reliever of tension from the days
> worries and woes.
> I don't believe that those places should be "institutionalized"; what I
> believe is that heterosexual guys who hang out together, temporarily sans
> women, are just that. Those that want to gender-integrate those places are
> missing out on the importance of such places for a man's mental health.
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