| Children's Program Bereavement Retreat June 10-11, 2000 © 2001 UCSF Children's Hospital. Published here with permission. |
Working Document: Activities for different age groups of children for the three
time slots on
Saturday and one on Sunday morning.
| SATURDAY JUNE 10, 2000 |
| 10:30-11:50 a.m. | Children, 3-12 years old Ice Breaker: (large group) Everyone who likes pizza ... Gathering into group : Everyone who has had a brother/sister die ... Light candle Introduction to Project : Memory box for sibling or other person/loss Split the larger group into three groups by age and identify leader and helpers for each group: 3-5 years old: List names of staff who will run this group. 6-8 years old : List names of staff who will run this group. 9-12 years old : List names of staff who will run this group. Anagram: use each letter in name of sibling or self as first letter of a word that describes the sibling or the participant (may need to adapt with younger kids). Project: Memory Boxes, Memory Wheel (collage), Memory Book Theme: Remembering, working through/processing, feelings. Closure: Share boxes/collages/memory book page(s) in circle (three separate groups). Share feelings chosen, and come together around candle for wish circle. (May want to reevaluate coming back together based on numbers/ages). Group Facilitators : List names of staff who will run this
activity. |
| 10:30-11:50 a.m. | Teens, 13-17 years old Ropes Course |
| Early afternoon: 1:00-3:00 p.m. |
Pre-Schoolers, 3-5 years old Ice Breaker: Throw ball to friend, say name, favorite food, color (5 min.) Intro: Video (15 min.) Project: Three Play/Art Stations (25-30 min each) 1. Hand Tracing/Saying Good-bye coloring page 2. Play dough/family figure play area 3. Book Area/Charades in acting out feelings Prompts/suggestions for guiding the groups: Why are we all here this weekend? Who in your family died? Some people may have been little babies or not even been born yet when brother/sister got so sick that they died. People may have come together at a funeral to say good-bye to your brother or sister. There may have been music, singing, and prayers. Do you remember the funeral? Did you go to the funeral? What was that like for you (if did or did not go)? It is hard to say "Good-bye" to your brother or sister when they die because they will not come back to live with your family...you can't play with them anymore. But we have pictures and memories.... What do you remember about your brother or sister? When we think about our brother or sister, we have many different kinds of memories and feelings----sad, mad, funny, happy.... Issues of saying goodbye, family constellation/changes, and feelings can be addressed more specifically in each smaller group. Theme: Saying good-bye, family life changes, memories (remembering)and feelings. Closing: Reading of Swan Sky (15 min.) Project: Make masks Teens, 13-17 years old Swimming/Sports Activity |
| Late afternoon: 3:15-5:15 p.m. |
Preschoolers, 3-5 years old Creek Walk, Story Time Children, 6-12 years old Sports Activity/ Swimming/make masks for Sun morning art project Teens, 13-17 years old Ice Breaker : Paired interviews (Teens pick numbers out of hat. Those who pick matched pairs are partners for this activity. Each person interviews the partner for 3 minutes and then at the end, larger group reforms, and each person introduces his or her partner to the group. Timekeeper needs to be clear about time to switch so that both partners get equal time.) Introduction: Light a candle and explain the theme of this activity: Mandala /Shields of Strength /Dream Catchers Project: Mandalas and/or dreamcatchers Theme: Remembering good and bad times, letting go of painful memories and holding on to good memories, strategies that help you cope/have courage or strength. Closure: Candle, sharing of project Group Facilitators: List names of staff who will run this activity. |
| SUNDAY JUNE 11, 2000 |
| 9:45-12:30 a.m. | Pre-Schoolers, 3-5 years old |
| 9:45-10:00 a.m. | Debrief from memorial service |
| 10:00-11:00 a.m. | Decorate picture mats |
| 11:00-11:30 a.m. | Songs and Dance |
| 11:30-12:30 a.m. | Make Book: All About Me Introduction: Sharing of family members Projects: Make Family Pictures in Decorative Mat, Book: All about Me Book to Read Aloud: Badger's Parting Gifts (This book emphasizes what is special about each person in family. Stress that they are special) Extra Activity: Music/Songs/Dance by Bread and Roses (between art projects from 11:00 . 11:30 a.m.) Group Facilitators: List names of staff who will run this
activity |
| 9:45-12:30 p.m. | Children, 6-8 years old |
| 9:45-10:15 a.m. | Debrief from memorial service |
| 10:15-10:45 a.m. | Story Teller |
| 10:45-12:30 a.m. | Masks Introduction: Feelings - inside feelings/outside feelings Project: Decorate Masks (Children made paper mache masks on Saturday with counselors.) Theme: Feelings are normal, no right or wrong, okay to share feelings and okay not to share. You are in control over how much you choose to share. Everyone reacts differently. We are all unique and special. Closure: Share Mask, and something special about "you" (May want to fine tune this as small group) Extra Activity: Story Teller: Group Facilitators: List names of staff who will run this
activity |
| 9:45-12:30 p.m. | Children, 9-12 years old |
| 9:45-10:15 a.m. | Debrief from memorial service |
| 10:15-11:45 a.m. | Rock Ceremony |
| 11:45-12:30 a.m. | Mime Introduction: Change and growth; how experiences can change us, good and bad influences, work hard on finding good or positive. Through hard times, can grow stronger, more empathic, more sensitive and aware of making the most of our own lives. Explain analogy of rough rock and polished stone. Project: Pick rough rock, choose polished stone, make medicine pouch. Closure: Share meaning behind stone chosen, light candle. Theme: Same as above. we can be in control of our feelings, let go of sad, scary ones, hold on to good, happy ones, grow stronger and more beautiful through this hard experience. Extra activity: Mime Group Leader Facilitators: List names of staff who
will run this activity |
| 9:45-12:30 p.m. | Teens, 13-17 years old |
| 9:45-10:15 a.m. | Debrief from memorial service |
| 10:15-11:45 a.m. | Rock Ceremony (make pouches?) |
| 11:45-12:30 a.m. | Kickball or other sport activity Introduction: Change and growth; metamorphosis, how experiences can change us; good and bad influences, work hard on finding good or positive. Through hard times, we can grow stronger, more empathic, more sensitive and aware of making the most of our own lives. Project: Find rough rock, choose polished stone, Rock Ceremony (Pass rock in circle with silent wishes, music in background.) Sharing Time/Closure: (Pick 2-3 questions/issues to share-i.e. How experience has changed us, in a positive way? In general, what helps when you are sad or down? (The point here is to identify what their existing coping strategies are, build on them.) Theme: As above, validate importance of remembering sibling but also acknowledge that we must go on with life, taking a tragedy and with a lot of "tumbling," hard work, love and support , we can grow from the experience ...feel whole, beautiful, and strong. Extra Activity: (Make pouches: Need felt & embroidery thread.) Group Facilitators: List names of staff who will run this activity. |
[Return to Featured Innovation]
[Return to Resources and Tools]
[Citation: Kramer R. A weekend retreat for parents and siblings of children who have died: An interview with Robin Kramer, by SL Sodickson. Innovations in End-of-Life Care, 2001;3(3), http://www.edc.org/lastacts/]