CFlood wrote:
>
> Jen, Tim, et al:
>
> I have resisted getting into this dialogue primarily because of time
> limitations...the perils of an active mind, but the tragedy in Arkansas
> yesterday has galvanized the issue of "our boys" for me to the point that I am
> compelled, time or not, to get involved in raising the questions that we need
> to ask about what WE are doing to our boys...both consciously or, as in most
> cases, unconsciously through inactivity, passivity or hoping that someone else
> steps forward. Well, here I am...I am making a conscious commitment to step
> into the "fray."
>
> Try looking at recent books such as Terrance Real's, "I Don't Want to Talk
> About It" or Bernard Lefkowitz' "Our Guys" to get a sense of the impact of
> male socialization in our culture. I used sections from each in my graduate
> course on gender equity (in a class session devoted to "The Changing Roles of
> Men") and they were incredible catalysts for discussion...far more powerful
> than most of the reading we have used in the past. Jeffrey Canada's "Reaching
> Up for Manhood" is also an excellent resource...he is in NYC and doing
> wonderful work with boys there. There was an excellent interview with him on
> Fresh Air in January...might try the Fresh Air archives to see if it is in
> Real Audio.
>
> Also, I have been part of a project in New York State that we ran from
> 1995-1997 called "Men Helping Boys with Choices" that focused on connecting
> middle school educators with boys in their schools in order to help them
> explore and attempt to interrupt the negative messages with respect to male
> socialization (I can share the Final Reports with anyone who might be
> interested) Those messages are tragically connected to the shootings at
> schools these past six months...all by boys. One of the "young men" (as they
> were referred to on one newscast...these are 11 and 13 yr. old BOYS!!!) in
> yesterday's shootings in Arkansas apparently was bothered by girls always
> "dumping" him and vowed to retaliate. We are effectively socializing empathy
> out of our boys...it is not masculine and the results are reaching a critical
> boil. Just follow the news for a couple days, either local or national, and
> try to connect as many stories with that notion...it isn't hard work.
>
> I would also urge people to look at Daniel Goleman's book, "Emotional
> Intelligence" which he essentially equates with the ability to connect with
> others, to empathize and to feel compassion. Virtually all of the examples he
> uses in the book with respect to "deficits" or problems with lack of "EI" are
> about males...either boys or men. This is not a coincidence, yet I am struck
> by our inability or unwillingness to confront the issue head on as a gender
> issue. We cannot dance around these issues anymore.
>
> We are bringing in three of Gilligan's Doctoral students for a spring
> conference who have been either doing research with boys or promoting the
> kinds of programs and pedagogies that address the problems I have briefly
> highlighted.
>
> I'd appreciate comments.
>
> Craig Flood, Director
> NYS Career Options Institute
> <CFlood@aol.com>