[EDEQUITY Male Dialogue] private vs public

From: Peggy Weeks (mdweeks@earthlink.net)
Date: Wed Dec 13 2000 - 12:55:51 EST


Liz, I totally agree with you. I think we see the discrepancy between the
polls and the culturally-driven public behavior of many men. When it is
"safe" to do so (as in polls), men are quite clear about their value of
relationships; in public, they are pressured to act as if relationships are
secondary to bravado. Just listen to conversations among many male teens
when they are with each other. It can be crude, rude and downright awful
the things that they say- almost as if to outdo each other in some kind of
oneupsmanship. In a one-to-one or in a non-public conversation, these same
male teens will be kind, funny, honest caring young men. It's the public
vs. the private personhood where the horrid dichotomy exists for some men,
I
think.
Peggy Weeks <mdweeks@earthlink.net>

Past Message posted by Liz Homer:

 Despite the stereotypes that are harming boys' empathic and relationship
 skills, isn't it still true that most men value their family relationships
 and the love of their spouse above all else in polls that asks them about
what is
 important in life? How does this fit in with all these messages against
closeness -
 does it mean when some/many males get to be men they just override those
messages?



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